BY SCOTT MORGANROTH
Once upon a time, the legendary Lou Gehrig once said to his beloved fans when he was diagnosed with ALS Disease that claimed his life, and would ultimately be named after him, "I am The Luckiest Man on the Face of the Earth."
Well, Lou, in honor of all the good you stand for, I have to say that "Today, I am the Dumbest Man on the Face of the Earth."
The Detroit Tigers 10-8 victory over the Cleveland Indians in 10 innings at Comerica Park ensured that I deserve a lot criticism.
I watched 9.5 innings with Cleveland leading 8-5. Indians Manager Manny Acta used five infielders and walked Miguel Cabrera and Prince Fielder to set up an inning ending double play in the bottom of the ninth with the bases loaded.
Cleveland responded with three runs in the top of the 10th inning as I decided to leave Hooters in Boca Raton, FL., believing that the Tigers squandered an opportunity to improve to 58-50 and the Indians eight-game losing streak would come to an end.
Miguel Cabrera hit his 27th homer of the year, a two-run walk-off blast and showed what an idiot I am! Cleveland's losing streak is now at nine-games.
I have been known to rip a Major North American City as a bunch of Morons in the past for booing our National Anthem. But on this day, I spent $21 including the tip with two waitresses to watch this see-saw battle.
I committed a Major Yogi Berra No No.
I got away with it back in 1982 when I proclaimed Gus Pantelides as the winner of the Tom Selleck Look-A-Like Contest at the Clearwater Mall.
How can I be that stupid that I would leave a baseball game early?
Did I forget that what makes Baseball such a great Chess Game is that there is No Clock. Games could last for hours or into the next day and as the great Berra proclaimed "It's Not Over Until It's Over."
The Tigers scored five runs in the 10th. Leaving Hooters early meant that I had two less Diet Cokes at 25 ounces a glass, and at that time, I was up to eight. The waitresses were quite efficient keeping up with my self-destructive pace.
Bad for the blood pressure, the kidneys leading to another sleepless night.
Oh well, sorry dad, plus to all those people that care about me, when I get engrossed into an activity, I really get into it. But at least I didn't bite my nails. They look good.
Just like we observed in the Olympics when the USA Men's Basketball Team defeated Lithuania 99-94, this Tigers game is the equivalent to what we saw Saturday in London, England. It was a teaching moment.
But how many times am I going to be dumb enough to make the same mistake?
Baseball is the one sport that makes dummies out of all of us.
Even the great Michael Jordan failed to make it to the big leagues with the Chicago White Sox. His athleticism alone wouldn't outsmart pitchers. Hitting fastballs, curves and breaking pitches aren't the same as slam dunks. He didn't get past AA and got smart to retire quickly just in time to win three more NBA titles.
The Texas Rangers came one pitch away from defeating the St. Louis Cardinals in the World Series twice last year.
Baseball is a sport that if you hit for a .250 batting average that you're actually doing pretty well. If you hit .300 you're a superstar. These guys get paid millions to fail the majority of the time.
My good friend Steve Hartz tried to get me to ease up on myself by saying, "The Tigers coming back from 8-5, with 2 outs and 2 strikes and scoring 5 runs after all that--and no, not a grand slam--very surreal how the Tigers scored 5 runs against a pitcher that always kills them. I'm still in disbelief. Lori--you really are magical. Scott, the odds had to be very long. Have you ever in your life seen this type of finish? Now, it's time for 4 games with the Yankees. Oy!"
Thanks for the support Steve. The Tigers do have their hands full with the Yankees and you can bet that I will watch the games until the final pitch this time.
But that still doesn't make me feel good that I made the same mistake and violated the Berra and Pantelides rules, "It's Not Over Until It's Over."
No Way! When you're stupid, you're stupid!
It's that simple.
Will I ever learn from this? Yes!
Then I will find away to make the same mistake again especially in the "Great American Past Time."
Oh well, at least the only consolation to this mess is that I'm not afraid to own up to a mistake and that My Ego is nonexistent. I always believe that I can improve myself.
My thanks goes to the Tigers and Indians for showing My Stupid Side today.
Hopefully, in the next two months, I'll show a Smart Side when I work towards a goal and pass the Homeowners/ Auto Insurance 2044 Test, then I'll let off the gas after today's Dumb Decision.
One thing that will still be the same in both cases, there will be plenty of Diet Cokes firing up this Bullheaded Motor Mouth to get something Right and remove the Dunce Cap that I'm currently wearing.
I look forward to wearing a Visor should I ever get Smart Again!
Scott Morganroth can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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